So, the other day I was mowing my yard (I know, right?) and I was down to one clump of wild jungle, when I saw her… A GIANT wolf spider. Heeeeeyuge.
She had a big white egg sack on her back and was desperately trying to find a safe place for herself and her babies. But as the clump of weeds she was inhabiting was the last bit to go, there was no safe haven. Well, you may know that I’ve been a single mom forever (with the occasional amnesia-induced “maybe married life wouldn’t be so bad” interlude). I could totally relate.
So what did I do? I scooped Mama Wolf up and tossed her and her babies gently into the woods. WITH MY HANDS. LIKE A BOSS.
Okay, I may have been making some noises that indicated emotional distress with the situation. I mean, HUGE wolf spider. HUUUUUGE.
Still, we Mama Wolves gotta stick together. I watched her scurry safely off, and then I may have let out a war whoop and done a little end zone/battle victory dance. Around here, we drink from the skulls of our enemies.
Yep, I’m a badass like that.
Jai tu wai,