Tag: geekery

Wake the Bear!

So, the other day I was asked by a nice young writer whether and how a group might sneak past a hibernating bear in its den without waking it. He wanted to write a believable scene and wanted to ask a real barbarian how such a thing might be accomplished.

Can’t fault him for that, I suppose, but I was horrified.

I mean, what a waste of a perfectly good bear.

I get it, I really do. You love your character and don’t want anything bad to happen to her. You’ve probably got an end scene already in mind, complete with explosions and disemboweled villains and teeth-rattling Epic Victory guitar solos. As she takes the path from Innocent Farmgirl to Cyborg Pirate Queen, you want to wrap her in cotton and bubble wrap and Northern Quilted Bathroom Tissue. The first time Sulema ever rode through the Valley of Death, she was able to sneak through without much of anything happening to her. Phew!  Made it!

And then I thought, wait a minute…I’ve got this perfectly good Valley of Death, and she just SNEAKS THROUGH UNSCATHED? Why would I do that? Do I hate my readers? I promised them the Valley of Death and gave them the Valley of Nothing Ever Happens.

So, yeah, spoiler alert: nobody rides through the Valley of Death unscathed, not anymore.

If you’ve got a cave with a bear in it, for fuck’s sake, wake the bear! Let it chase your characters, maul a couple, maybe eat one. If your cave doesn’t have a bear, throw one in there. Give her babies to protect and take away her coffee. And maybe an earthquake too for good measure.

Make your characters pay for daring to be in your story, because the payoff for your story–and for your readers–will be sweet as honey eaten from the skull of an enemy.

Jai tu wai,

Debi

Worldbuilding: Geek Love

Sharing a short excerpt from today’s worldbuilding exercise: I’m writing a concise history of Atualon.

The Wyvern’s Rebellion

Solarus ap Serpentus ne Atu, during a visit to the capital city of Khanbul, abducts the young Imperial Princess Zhaolin and installs her as his Consort. Emperor Pu Yet Sin seds his fifteen-year-old son Ghanzhi as an Imperial envoy to Atualon to secure her release or, failing that, demand an Imperial dowry and instatement of Zhaolin as Sa Atu. Ghangi, against his father’s explicit orders, demands his sister’s immediate and unconditional return, but Serpentus laughs in his face and tosses the Imperial Prince into the dungeons of Atukos.

When the Emperor learns of his son’s disobedience he disowns the boy and refuse to pursue the matter further. Imperial Prince Tiachu is named Heir and immediately challenges his father to mortal combat, which he wins. Emperor Tiachu then raises an army and sends it west to Atualon.

The Matreons of Atualon, fearing war, demand that the Imperial Prince and Princess be returned immediately to Sindan, and reparations paid as well.  But Solarus has already defiled the girl and it is reported that the boy prince has taken wetlung and is not expected to live.  The Matreons are divided in their responses to this outrage; some demand that Solarus be stricken from the line of succession, others that he be allowed to succeed his father but required to install the girl as Issa Atu and pay reparations to the new Emperor.  When Serpentus refuses to negotiate with the Matreons, the Matreons return to their Houses and take up the matter with their Patreons.

Several of the Houses issue a Denuntiatio, or formal intent to remove House Serpentus from the throne.  Serpentus declares all titles and lands belonging to the families whose Patreons have signed the Denuntiatio forfeit.  Houses Ursos, Equos, Corvos, and Wyvernos raise the standard of rebellion.

And that’s all I’m going to tell you, for now.

 

Jai tu wai!

Debi

Everyone’s a Critic

Bravo and I are arguing about the Oxford comma again.

1888728_10201498355448298_575666131_n

On Wings and Geekery

I caught a baby crow.

Now, I have been a fantasy geek since I read The Hobbit at age six (my mother threw books at me in a desperate attempt to cope with my hyperactivity). And I grew up on wildlife refuges…we always had this or that wild critter rehabbing at our house. A raccoon in the dog house, a grebe in the bathtub, a hawk in the kitchen…I have always, ALWAYS, wanted a pet crow or raven.

The little guy was fully fledged and unhurt; he’d simply worn himself out learning to fly. I held him in my hands and felt the frantic thrumming of his heart, stroked his glossy feathers, looked at the bright intelligence in those eyes. And I wanted that baby crow with every fibre of my being.

His folks were circling overhead, distressed. Crows’ murders are very social, very close-knit groups. They were crying, but afraid to come near me.

His clawed feet clung to my hand. So warm and strong, so clever. His beak was like ebony, and his feathers iridescent. I knew that if I clipped the first four flight feathers, I could restrict his flight until he had bonded to me and would never leave. I live in the woods, and he could have a nice big rookery all to himself.

Four crows circling overhead, and then five. I let my little girl stroke his feathers with one finger, and he was still as only a young wild animal can be, afraid to breathe lest I decide to eat him.

I thought of a perch next to my writing desk, where he could sit and watch me write. And I could put him out in his rookery from time to time, so that he could watch the other crows flying, doing their crow thing, and maybe they would come down and stare at him in his glorified bird cage.

I explained what was in my heart to my little girl, who will one day fly away from me. And put the little crow on a branch, as high as I could reach, so that he would be able to rest and recover out of the reach of predators. He climbed up to a higher branch, quickly, and sat there regarding me with those bright, intelligent eyes.

His murder began to circle lower, crying for their lost child.

I walked home; my steps were as reluctant as my heart, heavy with the knowledge that I could turn back and he would still be there, glossy and bright and beautiful. I could take him home…I could take him to my home, never to return to his own.

I held my little girl’s hand. So soft, so warm, trusting in me with every fibre of her being.

The crow’s mother cried out and I heard him answer.  And I smiled to myself, thinking:

I caught a baby crow.